Actually. I know this is my second post in a day, but it really feels like I need to keep writing. By 2:00, my aunty will be here and there is something that I needed to say. This ones ALL gonna be about... Wonderbread.
Dear Kamaile,
First off, I want to let you know that im not mad at you. Even though, no matter how oblivious to the situation you may act, I very well have the right to be. But im not.
What happened between me and Wonderbread happened for a reason. It wasnt the smoothest ride, but it all worked out between you two. In fact, and I know this is a terrible cliche, Im honestly happy for you two. Really. This is no jealous facade, but honestly I always knew he wanted you, deep down. I just didnt want to see it. How could I not? One day he even bothered to tell me that he invited you to the movies and you 'made out' with him. Okay, hello? It takes two people to make out. I was angry yeah, but how could I show it? It wasnt fair with what I was doing to him. I didnt understand how confused I made him. I didnt understand the things I was doing to him. He didnt even want me around his friends and I didnt understand why until I realized it was just you he was uncomfortable with me having around. I honestly think he didnt even know what he was doing until you were right up in his face.
Well it was still obvious. Whenever you had an emotional problem, hed be so worried and hed talk to me because I guess thats what I made him believe. That I was the one to talk to, even though I didnt want him to talk to me about you. Whenever you were hurting, he told me to talk to you, but I refused. Whenever you had a boyfriend, hed get mad, and not want to talk about you anymore. Hows this? We actually had to promise not to talk about you again, and even after that, he did. I stared at him and he had to apologize.
The way you made him feel, he wanted you to feel it too. We saw you with three boys one day, and hid around the corner, when he suggested that he take his shirt off and we make out in front of you. He was so excited to do it he was actually dragging me around the corner. But I said no. It didnt feel right and I didnt want to do that. No matter how angry you had made me feel with him, I knew it wasnt your fault. Sure you were seducing him while he was with me... But we both know that technically I couldnt claim him. You know why. It just got so complicated, and.... He ended up picking you. And from there I just felt used. I was used. Anyway...
Im sorry the way things turned out between us. I cant even look him in the eye anymore. But I want you to know theres no hard feelings. Against you that is. Im sure I'll get over it one day. Hell, maybe its today. But I want you to know that I look forward to softball together next year. Your a nice girl, and you two are great together. Hes a good listener, and really has the genuine heart that wants to help with whatever you need. Just keep him close, because he does tend to attract girls. You know what I mean.
Have a great summer girl!
Pickles
